The Coolest Thing to Enter My Life in Recent Months...

Tonight, I was grilling some burgers for dinner. The burgers, onions, and tomatoes were on the grill. Yes, I said "the tomatoes were on the grill" - it didn't work that well, so don't bother trying it... Anyway, everything was on the grill, and getting to be pretty in-need of a flip. So I headed back into the kitchen to look for my metal spatula. But my one metal spatula was dirty and in the dishwasher. All the others were plastic, and not suitable for grilling. However, I quickly solved my dilema when I remembered an old Christmas gift that I'd stored away, unopened. It was a set of BBQ tools: a metal brush (for cleaning the grill), a pair of tongs, and a metal spatula. I opened the case and retrieved the spatula, expecting, you know, just a metal spatula. But upon closer examination, I realized that this was much more than "just a spatula." Behold: Isn't it cool? What, don't see what I'm talking about? Look closer: Yes, not only is it a spatula, suitable for flipping assorted pieces of meat and whatever else you may like to grill, but it is also a bottle opener. And if you look at the pictures, you will notice that one edge is serrated, so as to serve as a knife. What the larger prongs on the other side are for, I haven't quite figured out yet... But anyway, isn't that just about the coolest thing you've seen in a while? And it's so sterotypically male. This thing is so bloody masculine, I am dubbing it the Man Tool. Yes, I realize that sounds like a very poorly conceived nickname for one's member, but I can't think of another name that conveys the level of masculinity contained so eloquently within this one simple item.