Crackpot of the Year Award

If you were to look through the most recent edition of Newsweek, you would find, near the back, a full page ad, containing nothing more than the "policy statement" of the so-called "Coalition for a Humanistic Euro British Canada." Contained within this passage - ostensibly a policy statement advocating the restriction of Canadian immigration to Europeans (white folk, that is) - is several hundred words of the most poorly-written - to the point of being outright confusing - xenophobic, classist, and just straight-up insane drivel I have ever seen.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to bestow the award of Chewingonaviancranium's Official Crackpot of the Year on Mr. Michael Chessman, founder, and seemingly sole member, of the Coalition for a Humanistic Euro British Canada.

I struggle as I continue to write this post, because I don't think I can really do Mr. Chessman and his organization justice. I cannot, with my words here, convey the sheer insanity of the CHEBC. The official website (linked above) demonstrates less skill with concern to web design than that posessed by a trained monkey equipped with a cracked copy of Dreamweaver. Typos are found throughout the text. Throughout the website, Chessman awkwardly explains his xenophobic and fetishistically Brit-o-phillistic views on issues such as eduction and immigration, before proceeding to implore favored celebrites such as Emma Thompson, Anthony Hopkins, and Alan Alda to join him in his beloved Canada. Chessman also puts forward an open invitation for Lee Iacocca to manufacture European cars in Canada. This invitation is followed by numerous pictures of European automobiles and lustful descriptions of the vehicles, extolling their virtues... The insanity continues as one scrolls down the page. There is even a recommendation of Citibank to readers of the page - I have no idea what either the Citibank plug, or the list of recommended movies, have to do with Chessman's efforts for the "improvement of [his] homeland into the next milleneum."

Long story short, had I not seen the CHEBC statement in Newsweek, I would have dismissed Chessman and his organization as low-grade crazies. But the very fact that Chessman somehow managed to fund a full-page ad in Newsweek, AND deem such an expenditure worthy, marks him as a true, world-class crazy person.

Thank you Mr. Chessman. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for making my day a little more interesting. I hope the MPs continue to ignore your letters, and I hope your immigration policies are never enacted, but I thank you for making that truly special contribution to the world that only a flat-out crazy person can make.